Month: May 2018

Ready for the runway?

You are your child’s biggest role model. They will likely copy your behaviors as you go about your day, using your choices as examples for how to express and deal with different emotions.

Every morning, you wake up and get ready for the day…so does your child. Sometimes you may notice that your little one is following you like a shadow. Since they are following you around and copying your behaviors, be thoughtful about what you do and why you do it.

Your child is not going to be happy everyday and neither are you.

• Be mindful of how you respond to negative events and stressors – your child is watching.
• Remember you should not talk about emotions that are too overwhelming or inappropriate to discuss with a 3- to 5-year-old.

Model how your children can deal with difficult emotions.

• One way you can do this is to make sure to give yourself a break when you are upset or overwhelmed.
• If you had a hectic day at work, say “I had a tough day today and I’m feeling a little frustrated. Want to read a book together and snuggle? That would really help me feel better.”
• Apologize when you’re wrong. If you overreact to your child’s behavior after a long and difficult day, make sure to say you’re sorry.

Helping your kids manage emotions

You know that moment, when your child realizes that they lost their favorite toy? We’ve all been there. Your child relies on you when they get overwhelmed. Don’t fear, there are many ways you can help them deal with these tough feelings. Sadly, there’s no magic wand that can stop your child from crying – but it may be easier than you think!

All children experience ups and downs – from the excitement of running around the jungle gym to anxiety on their first day of school. Although it’s easier for adults to name emotions, it’s not always so simple for your child. Teaching your child about identifying their feelings is the very first step in preparing them to handle difficult emotions and situations in the future. For more information on how to help your child with Identifying and Understanding Feelings, click here.

Here are some ways that you can help your child tackle those pesky negative feelings:

Bring On The Emotions

Give your child lots of love, affection, and attention. Keeping your child safe and well-cared for will help them feel secure and better able to deal with any sad or scary emotion that comes their way!

Your toddler still relies on you to take care of their basic needs: being fed, changed, and held. If these needs aren’t met, your child may feel distressed, causing them to cry, cling, or act out.

Some ways that you can help your little one to feel safe and supported include:

1.  Putting lotion on them after giving them a bath – let them help rub it in!

2.  Getting comfortable and cozy! Snuggle while reading a book together.

3.  Paying attention to things that are interesting to them.

• • Getting on the floor to solve a favorite puzzle
  • Dancing to their favorite music

4.  Allowing your child to express overwhelming emotions without getting frustrated yourself.

• • Acknowledge and empathize with whatever is making your child upset
  • Every child has their magic balm – whether it is an ice pack, extra band-aids, or grandma’s special lotion

Monkey see, monkey do!

Whether it’s a funny face or a cheerful smile – your toddler loves to mimic you. While doing your daily routine, you are setting the example for how to express and deal with different emotions.

Your child is becoming aware of other’s expressions and behaviors. Don’t feel like you have to hide your emotions from your toddler. It can be okay to show your child that grown-ups also feel sadness and stress, when the situation is appropriate. What matters is how you deal with that frustrating emotion.

Take a walk or go on a bike ride

Call or videochat with a friend

Listen to music

Do deep breathing

Remember…

Your little one is too young to understand what is going on or how to help you, so you shouldn’t lean on your baby to comfort you in a difficult moments. Show them that it is okay to need the help of others when they are having a hard time dealing with their feelings.

• Don’t share all your emotions with your toddler. Make sure to have appropriate boundaries.
• For those times that you are feeling overwhelmed, seek out support from family, friends, or local professionals.

I’ll be there for you! (When the rain starts to pour…)

It’s hard to know how to soothe a shrieking child. The more you know about your child, the better you will be at comforting and calming them down. Give your child support and encouragement about how to manage stressful situations. One day soon, your child will learn the skills to balance emotions on their own.

From exhaustion after a playdate to pure joy when meeting a puppy, your child experiences many emotions. But your child is not a “feelings expert.” The first step in managing feelings is learning about different emotions and what they look like. Click here for more information regarding Identifying and Understanding Feelings.

Your child is going through some major changes.

Some of these changes are going to be great and exciting, and some are going to feel overwhelming and scary. Unfortunately, your child won’t always have the words to tell you what’s going on. So pay attention, stay calm, and remember that growing up is hard. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Your child may react quickly and impulsively to feelings of anger or frustration. Get used to hearing the word “no”.

When they don’t have the words, they’ll use their behavior to communicate. If they bite or hit other people, help them find better ways to express themselves.

Your child may start to develop separation anxiety, becoming fearful or anxious when they are away from you or adults that they trust.

It’s not ALL bad! Your child may also be very affectionate at this age, responding to your love with cuddles and kisses.

When your child transforms into The Hulk, don’t lose your sense of humor!

• Distract your toddler by having them focus their attention on a game, book, or activity.
• Praise your child when they are able to calm themselves down! Positive feedback gives them the confidence to use those skills in the future.
• A loving touch can be a gentle reminder that you will help them handle any feeling that comes their way. Sometimes holding their hand, rubbing their bad, and giving them cuddles can help your child feel supported.

Every Emotion is OK

Give your baby lots of love, affection, and attention. Keeping your baby safe and well cared for will help them feel secure and better able to deal with any sad or scary emotion that comes their way!

Your baby relies on you to take care of their most basic needs, like being fed, changed, burped, and held. If these needs are not met, your baby may feel distressed, causing them to cry. Some ways that you can help your baby to feel safe and supported include:

• Rubbing them down with lotion after giving them a bath.
• Spending time holding them. Rock in a rocking chair, sway to gentle music, or take a tour of your yard!
• Getting comfortable and cozy! Gentle skin to skin contact can be soothing.

Create a calm environment for your baby. Feeling secure with you will help calm them down in moments of distress. You can help your baby feel supported by:

• Using positive touch, such as rubbing or patting their back, cuddling with them, and giving kisses.
• Playing face-to-face. Make eye contact with them and share smiles, giggles, and laughs.

Staying calm when your baby is upset. Your baby’s distress IS distressing, but remaining calm will help:

• You think more clearly about what may be upsetting them.
• Your baby understand that they can rely on you to comfort them.
• Your baby calm down faster.

You’re a model, too!

Whether it’s a funny face or a simple noise, your baby loves to mimic you. While doing your daily routine, you are setting great examples of how to express and deal with different emotions. Even though you may not realize it, your baby is always watching.

Try to stay mindful of your own emotions and how they might affect your child. All the stress and frustration you feel after a bad day may influence your child’s feelings and reactions to you. So take care of yourself by modeling effective emotion regulation skills when handling difficult feelings! Call a friend to catch up or close your eyes for a few minutes. Your self-care can be good for your child too!

Comforting your crybaby

When your baby is upset, it is hard to know what you can do to help soothe them.  Sometimes your child will cry and cry and it seems like nothing helps, but no baby cries forever. With a little trial and error, you will learn what you can do to calm your baby.

Your baby experiences many feelings from sad to tired, hungry, and, of course, happy. While they might not yet know what these feelings are, believe it or not, you can start teaching your baby how to recognize emotions from day one. The first step in managing strong emotions is being able to recognize them…and this is where YOU come in! Click here for more information regarding Identifying and Understanding Feelings.

You might need to be a detective and look for cues to figure out why your baby is upset. Start by asking yourself the following questions:

• Is my baby hungry? When was the last time they were fed? Your baby may be chewing on their hand, mouthing on your shoulder or crying.
• Does my baby’s diaper need to be changed? When in doubt, do it!
• Is my baby too hot or too cold? Is their clothing making them uncomfortable?
• Does my baby need to be moved into a different position?
• Does my baby need to be burped? A rub or pat on the back may lead to the answer!
• Is my baby tired? Your baby begins to rub their eyes or just looks tired. Swaddle or hug them or simply put them in their crib.
• Is your baby overwhelmed with their surroundings? Try moving your child to a quiet environment.

You can help your baby learn to self-soothe by giving them positive touch:

Hold, rock, or gently bounce your baby

Hug, cuddle, kiss, and pat your baby

Place your finger in your baby’s hands as they learn to grab and hold

Rub your baby’s back, arms, and legs

You can also help your baby learn to self soothe with some hands-off strategies

• When putting your baby to sleep, make sure they are lying on their back and that their crib is free of blankets, toys, and pillows. Try the “15 Minute Rule”: allow your baby to self-soothe for 15 minutes before you step in. Check out this link for more tips on how you can help your baby sleep safely.
• If your baby seems overstimulated, allow them to be alone in a quiet place for a few minutes, while you monitor from nearby.
• When you’ve tried everything to calm your baby, nothing seems to work, and you are at your wit’s end, it is okay to lay your baby down in a safe and secure spot and walk away for a few minutes. Don’t go too far – but give yourself and your baby some time to calm down.