Self-Perceived Competence

Self-Respect

Your child is braver, stronger, and more independent than ever! Your child is a unique person with their own personality.  You’ll continue to be surprised by all of the things that they can do!  Giving your child jobs or opportunities to make decisions helps them build confidence, self-respect, and independence.  

Build Their Independence

Help your child to develop independence by giving them choices in their day-to-day activities. Encouraging them to do tasks on their own.

Get Them Involved

Your child might not be able to clean the kitchen, cut the grass, or do all the laundry, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help!

Set small goals for your child that you are sure they can complete. Such as bringing their dishes to the sink or putting clean clothes away.

Make grocery lists together!  As your child becomes better and better at writing, ask them to make a list of some foods to buy each week.  Younger kids can draw a picture of the foods they would love to try. 

If your big kid’s little fingers are good at sorting foods and zipping up zip-lock bags, let them help you pack their lunch.  Some 8-year olds may be able to pack their lunch on their own!

Show them how to do different things around the house, even if they are too young to do those tasks on their own. For example, show them how to use the washing machine, the vacuum, or the dishwasher. Children love learning, so foster that curiosity!

Answer Their Questions

Be open with your child about what it means to “grow up.”  Your child might be confused or nervous about changes they see in their bodies or in their friendships.  Having these discussions early will help your growing child develop respect for themselves and the people around them. 

Tips for using conversations to help your child build self-respect.

• Let your child know that you are always there to talk, whether they’re super excited about something that they learned in school or if they encounter problems with friends, such as peer pressure or bullying.
• Teach your child to ask directly when they need emotional support from you. This will remind your child that their opinions and feelings matter and that they should advocate for themselves.
• Listen to your child.  If they tell you that they’re feeling uncomfortable about something, take them seriously and listen closely.

Conversations to have with your child about self-respect.

• Talk to your child about the importance of boundaries.  While hugs and kisses might be part of the daily routine in your family, it might not be the case with friends and adults outside the home.  Discuss when, where, and with whom it is okay to show their affection.
• Discuss the importance of taking care of themselves and speaking up when they need something. This is often called self-care.

What is self-care?

Taking a break when you are overtired

Brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, or getting dressed

Walking away from a fight instead of yelling or hitting

Doing an activity you love, like drawing, reading, or dancing