Everyday parent or superhero?
Though some days it may seem like you can’t get anything right, in your child’s eyes, you’re a superhero! The way you handle everyday problems and emotions makes you an important model for dealing with feelings.
Showing your kid how you manage your emotions is very important
Talk to your child about the emotions and feelings you experience, both good and bad. Explain what you do when you feel those intense emotions.
- After a long day, say to your child, “I’m feeling a little stressed. Today was such a busy day at work, I had so many things to do. I’m going to take some deep breaths to calm down and then maybe you can read a book to me on the couch. That would be such a relaxing end to my day.”
- After giving a big presentation at work that was very well-received, share your excitement with your child! Tell them all about what a great day you had, and celebrate with a “happy dance” in the kitchen.
Remember…
Don’t just share the ways that you successfully manage your emotions. Go ahead, admit it! We all get caught in the “weeds” sometimes. Make it okay to “mess up.” Talking about your own challenges can take the fear out of having new emotions for your child.
Apologize when you’re wrong.
If you overreact to your child’s behavior after a difficult day, make sure to say you’re sorry. Show them that everyone is responsible for the way they act and talk to others, even when they’re upset.
Monitor your own well-being, too!
Your child notices when you are calm, disappointed, or tired. Taking care of yourself and your feelings will help you to be a stronger parent.
- It’s okay to have negative emotions in front of your child. Tears, frowns, and stress are a part of everyday life. It’s important for your child to realize that these emotions are normal, but be sure you use healthy ways of expressing them.
- Reach out to family and friends if you need support. Superheroes need sidekicks sometimes!
- Embrace your own feelings. Being a parent is hard. Talking about things that we take for granted is hard. Thinking about our own experiences is HARD. One of the most amazing parts of being a parent is realizing the extent of insight about ourselves that it requires.
- Acknowledging your own feelings and talking about how you are going to manage them (“I’m feeling super stressed right now. I’m going to go and take a walk”) makes the process of feeling both normal and manageable.
- Don’t forget that your kids are still children. It’s great and important to share your experiences, but it is important to have appropriate boundaries. Don’t share ALL of your emotions with your kids. If you need someone to talk to, seek out support from friends, family, or local professionals.