Be there for your child!
Your child has their own thoughts, opinions, and awesome personality. They are becoming more independent every day, but they may still need your help managing stressful and challenging emotions. Give your child a supportive and loving environment to help them feel in control when they are faced with overwhelming feelings.
Growing up is hard…
Your child may be cheerful all morning and feel crushed by lunchtime. Provide your child with a safe and accepting space to express “good” and “bad” emotions, as this will help them:
- Feel safe and secure when they are overwhelmed.
- Give them a sense of what to expect.
- Calm down faster.
No parent wants to see their child cry…
But, remember, negative emotions are a part of life! Give support and encouragement to your child when they are upset. Don’t shut them down; listen to them. Here are some ways to support your child when they are experiencing an intense emotion:
1. Remain calm. Losing your temper or slumping into sadness right alongside your child will make it harder for them to tolerate their distress and harder for them to share it with you.
2. Don’t get angry at your child or dismiss any feelings they are having. If they are worried that you will retaliate or reject their feelings, they will be unlikely to be able to successfully talk about or manage negative experiences.
3. Offer respectful and appropriate positive touch to make them feel supported and safe: hold their hand, pat or rub their back, and hug them.
- It’s important to remember that your child has a right to refuse your physical contact – even if it’s offered with love and support.
- Follow their lead and be ready with a hug when – and if – they are ready.
It’s okay to cry!
“I know how terrible it feels when you are angry. When I am angry, sometimes I try to read a magazine or take a walk outside to calm myself.”
It’s a learning process.
Managing emotions is like a muscle…each time they use their skills, they become more practiced and confident. Over time, your child will be better able to calm themselves down after increasingly difficult emotional experiences.
- Encourage them to navigate these feelings instead of avoiding them and be there for hugs, kind words, and support.
- Don’t rush in to fix everything, even if it can be hard to see your child upset.
- Remember, don’t expect them to already know how to manage their emotions, give them the chance to learn. Children develop at their own pace and each child will have different abilities and strengths.
If your child is experiencing intense emotions, it’s okay to ask for help.
Your school-aged child may have difficulty managing grief or responding to trauma on their own. Seek support from professionals if your child is having difficulty managing strong emotions in a way that is not age-appropriate.