Coping with Loss
Life is filled with ups and downs, and even as a child, the downs can sometimes be extreme. Dealing with the loss of a loved one, friend, or family pet can be especially difficult for young children. Children at this age may not yet have a firm understanding of death, but there are many ways that you can talk to your little ones about death in a way that they can grasp. Although you cannot shield your children from all of life’s heartbreaking moments, you can help them develop healthy coping skills in the face of loss.
Keep it Simple.
- Children at this age may not understand that death is permanent. When speaking with your child after a loss, don’t volunteer to much information at once. Instead, let your child process what happened.
- Allow your child to as questions. Preschool-aged children may wonder, “Why or how did this happen?” It is important to listen to what they are saying and to answer to the best of your ability.
Be Direct.
- Saying “Our dog Bailey went to sleep” may be confusing for your child. Using euphemisms may make it more difficult for your child to understand what happened. Instead, use direct language, saying, “Our dog Bailey has died. Do you know what it means when someone has died?”
- Don’t be afraid to use words such as “death” or “died” when explaining what has occurred. This will help your child understand the difference between temporary loss or permanent loss.
- For more tips on how to discuss death with your child, check out this link.
Focus on Special Memories.
- Make a scrapbook with important pictures and favorite memories or share stories about happy times that your child had with the deceased.
Stick to Daily Routines.
- It’s normal for the family schedule to fall to the wayside when dealing with loss. Do your best to stick to your normal family routine as much as possible! Routines can be a source of comfort for young children, and it will help your child realize that life can still go on after death.
Support your Child in Their Grief.
Click here to find out more information about different types of mental health professionals that you can reach out to if you notice your child is having difficulty managing their reactions after a loss.
- With loss, there will often be lots of tears…and if there are not, that’s okay too! Support your child by offering a shoulder to cry on, a snuggly teddy bear, or a fun activity to distract them and cheer them up.
- Regardless of your child’s initial reaction, let them know that you love them and that you are there for them no matter way.
- Remember that you may need time to cope with the loss as well. Allow yourself to grieve and express your feelings. Being able to acknowledge your own emotions will provide a positive example for your child and will help normalize the grief process for them.