Praising Behaviors That You Want to See
It’s easy to recognize undesirable behaviors – hitting, shoving, screaming.
But what about the wonderful things your child does every day? From staying in their seat during dinner to sharing a bite of their favorite snack, noticing and encouraging desirable behaviors can reduce conflict.
Be specific!
If your child does something “right,” like putting their toys away before you ask them to, make sure to say things like, “I’m so happy that you put your puzzle away as soon as play-time was over!”
- Saying “good job” is too vague – they may not understand what behavior you are praising.
- Praise can also be given with a smile or a pat on the shoulder.
There is no such thing as “too much” praise!
Some caregivers are reluctant to give compliments when children do things that are expected of them, like using their words in a fight or playing nicely with a sibling. Acknowledging behavior increases the likelihood that it will continue.
After an argument, find one desirable behavior to compliment or praise.
Even when it’s Difficult. Look for things like waiting for their turn to speak, or even just wearing their seatbelt correctly.
When appropriate, motivate your child with small rewards for their behavior.
- Rewards are earned, not given. Small items, like stickers, can be awesome motivators for your child to maintain or increase positive behaviors. Social rewards, such as a hug, thumbs-up, or a high-five doesn’t cost a thing!
- Small rewards can also be used to change or stop a “bad habit” or behavior. Give your child a sticker for every day that someone “catches” them making positive choices. Your child will learn to pay attention to their own behaviors, and get a little “boost” for making smart choices!