Helping your child understand & respect others
Children notice differences, so teach them that being different is no biggie. Appreciating differences will help your child form healthy relationships, teach them to celebrate all people, and encourage kindness and respect.
At this age, children put people, places, and things into categories to help them understand the world a little better. They lump people together based on what is visible, like gender, race, or age. While this can be useful (and is developmentally appropriate), it is important to show your kids that different doesn’t mean “bad.”
Children are curious. They will have questions about the people around them.
- Don’t avoid their questions, even if they are uncomfortable. Be matter-of-fact and use simple language.
- Explain to your child that people come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Provide examples that they can understand, like comparing grapes and apples and oranges and papayas – “They may have different shapes and colors, but they are all fruits!”
Everyone makes assumptions.
- Gently challenge your child’s assumptions about others and explore lots of ways to think about a situation or experience.
- Talk about the stereotypes that might be shown on TV or in books, like the damsel in distress the knight in shining armor or the old wicked witch. Point out that “damsels” can slay dragons, that brave knights might feel scared and cry, and that not all witches are mean and scary.
- It is important to acknowledge that some people are treated differently based on things like gender, skin color, physical abilities, or how much money they have. Talk about how this can be hurtful and strategize ways to be open, accepting, and kind to others.
Many children are curious about gender.
- Exploration of gender and different gender identities is healthy and can teach children to think flexibly about gender roles.
- Let your child explore activities that get aimed at the opposite gender. Try to provide toys and play opportunities that go against gender stereotypes.
- Look for books or movies that show people doing things that are stereotyped for the opposite gender. Find examples of boys showing emotions or girls being in charge.
- Use titles like firefighter, police officer, and garbage collector instead of fireman or police woman. This can help your child understand that anyone can do these jobs!