Self-Esteem
When your little one is proud of themselves, whether or not things go as planned, they are becoming competent and resilient. At this age, they may feel overly confident about what they can and cannot do, so take care not to take the wind out of their sails! Instead, help them focus on how hard they’ve worked!
Quick Tip:
As they get older, encourage them to say these statements to themselves (“I’ve got this” and “I’ll just try my best”), first out loud and then in their minds.
It’s easy to make a big deal out of your children’s major accomplishments, but it can be difficult to remember to praise them for the small behaviors, words, and actions that you see as well. Encouraging, acknowledging, and praising their efforts – big and small – are easy ways to build your child’s confidence.
- Teach your child to use positive thoughts to help boost their self-confidence. At first, this may be difficult, so be their role model and cheerleader! Below are some examples of positive thoughts:
- “You’ve got this!”
- “Just try your best.”
- “It’s okay if you make a mistake.”
- Remind them to use these self-statements when they are facing challenges too.
Tips for Praising Your Child
1. Rather than just telling your child that you’re “proud of them,” offer specific praise to let them know exactly what they did or said that made you happy.
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- When your 4-year-old remembers to brush their teeth, say, “Wow! I’m so proud of you for remembering to brush your teeth!”
- If your 5-year-old helps you carry your grocery bags into the house, reinforce their positive actions by saying, “It was so nice of you to help me carry these grocery bags – you’re such a good helper!”
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2. Give praise consistently – but not excessively. Each day, look for two or three things that your child does that fill you with pride, and make sure that you let them know how much you appreciate what they have done or tried to do.
3. When your child feels frustrated or upset that they couldn’t do something, point out and praise the effort they put in to build their confidence to try again.
Create opportunities for your little one to do things on their own. It’s important for children to feel a sense of pride in working toward a goal (whether or not the goal is reached).
- Giving your child tasks that you know they can complete on their own, such as carrying their plate to the sink or putting their arms in their coat sleeves.
- Setting them up for success with smaller tasks will boost their confidence for more difficult tasks.
Mistakes will happen, and that’s part of the process!
- If they run into problems completing a task on their own, offer support rather than criticism.
- Highlight the parts of each situation that went well, and help them decide what they can do to move forward.
- If they spill their glass of juice on the way to the table and work to clean it up, say “You’re doing a great job cleaning up the juice with the paper towel. Next time, what’s something you can try to make it all the way to the table without spilling?”
- Avoid thinking that your child will never make mistakes. Without feeling pressured to be perfect, they’ll be more likely to try new activities and become more confident in their actions and decisions.
- Teach them that working hard is more important than how well things turn out.
We all make mistakes. whether you’ve locked your keys in the car or said something you regretted.
Don’t hide your mistakes from your child – use these situations to teach them that mistakes are unavoidable and an essential part of learning! Also, these moments are great opportunities to model a positive and flexible view of mistakes.
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- For example, if you accidentally lost your wallet, take a deep breath and verbally problem-solve by saying, “Oh no! I think I left my wallet at work. First, I will double check the car to see if it is in there, and if not, I will call my coworker to see if I left it at work.”
Click here for more strategies for how you can model problem solving skills.